We're a team of highly trained, highly paid (in socks) prophets, dedicated to bringing you the most accurate, the most entertaining, and the most absurd prophecies in the land.
Our methods are unorthodox, our methods are unproven, but our methods are definitely not untested (on our clients, unfortunately).
Want to know what the future holds? Don't bother asking us, we'll just tell you anyway. And if our answer involves a sock puppet, it's because it's a metaphor, okay?
We're not responsible for any emotional trauma or existential dread caused by our prophecies. You're on your own with that.
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